Mourning.

My heart is crush, broke to pieces. I`m mourning.
Today is the burial of my little friend Paul.
I`m soooooo sad, angry and happy at the same time. Makes sense?
I start this one `bout 8:30 AM and is 10:13 and i`m just have type the 4 th line. I don`t know how long is going to take me, i got to stop crying to be able to finish, but every time i start, i just can`t.
This is so big inside, is like something is tightening my chest w/the purpose to asphyxiate me, and over this, i`m not able to be there. He wasn`t dead if his dad wouldn`t doit what he did to me. That`s the why i`m SO angry. He doesn`t have to do anything w/this. He didn`t do nothing to me. He never, ever hurt me. He was like Luc`s is w/me. He was a happy kid. Always smiling, i miss so much that happy face and smile, that so beautiful heart. A kid full of compassion for others, always eager to help. Crazy `bout his little bro Steve. Good friend, companion, best buddy, good son, brother, student,omg, so sweet, decent, respectful, obedient, caring, loving, good athlete. I don`t have words to describe him, he was a good christian too. I believe in u God, but, why did u took him away for ever?, i need him more than u do. Oh Paul, it wasn`t ur fault, i told u that hundred of times, i was so exited to get well and go to see u, we made planes, we gonna have a lot of fun, i told u that what ur dad did never will change my love for u, u knew that, u promise me u will never going to try to take ur own life again, i`m mad at u for leave me like that too, and ur leaving in my heart a hole so big that just u will be able to fill. This hole will be in my heart `til the day i died. omg, i`m wishing so much to be able to hug u rit now, and to tell u how awesome u were, and to kiss u and tell u how so fucking much i`m missing u, and loving u, why u have to leave, why? WHY? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH.
That`s why i`m so sad.
I will NEVER, EVER, PROMISE W/MY WHOLE HEART, WILL FORGOTTEN YOU.
And i don`t have to promise you, is just be impossible for me to forgot u.
You leave me w/a bunch of so good memories.
The camping, the diving, the play, the fun, the games, the laugh, the support, the crying together, ur caring ways to treat me, i will miss ur hugs for ever, i will made and photo album w/all our photos, i got a nice photo of u on my nit table in my bedroom, and over all, i know for sure, that u r in a better place, where the suffering doesn`t exist, where is just love and peace. You`re suffering no more.
That`s the why i`m happy.
Rest In Peace my dear, loving, kind friend.
I WILL NEVER, EVER FORGET YOU.
And i know that i`ll see you again in heaven.

In loving memory of my 14 yrs. old friend Paul.
Posted by robert