I read them some times but not too much because they create in me a strong desire to see him, hugging, have him back, and I know is not possible, but I`m getting stronger and have been enjoy them more and more.
This is one of them and if is going to cause you too much sadness, missing and pain, I recommended you not to read it too often:
hello Lucas
I have been reading old emails,
I'm using this as part of my recovery process
I can imagine you must get 1000s of emails from people
but I would like to send you an old email that Robert sent me
I have been reading it over and over, and I cant stop the tears
I still miss me bad, no one has touched my heart like Robert has
I find myself some days just sit at my desk thinking about him
I don't no if this is a good thing or not, and maybe I need help
I just wish a wish that will never happen, and I'm sure you wish the same
I want to resent this email that Robert sent me, but I'm not sure how you will react
I don't what to bring up past, but sometimes you have to step back to move forward
and I don't want to upset you anymore than you are, but this is now very special to me
and I want to share that little bit of Robert that I have with you
so I put a large gap and you will have to scroll down the page if you want to read it
I hope it doesn't upset you, it wasn't meant too
love
harry
On 10/15/10, Harry Griffin wrote:
>>> I just read what Rhys put on your blog
>>> I was a little upset at first, because you guys are going threw enough
>>> without worrying about me, anyway to put your mine to rest
>>> every now and then I get the shakes real bad
>>> haven't had them for a while, not since Rhys was about 6 years was the
>>> last
>>> its just part of what happened to me, when I was abused, I couldn't stop
>>> shaking after the attacks and it didn't stop until I was about 16 , and
>>> it
>>> has come and gone over the years
>>> I have been having a few dreams I don't call them nightmares anymore ,
>>> because he does scare me anymore.
>>> I get real emotional,( angry) when I hear about abused kids, and
>>> sometimes I
>>> don't follow my own advise, (as you do)
>>> you and Robert have really touched my heart , and sometimes when you
>>> hear
>>> other peoples stories, you tend to relive your own , its not the first
>>> time
>>> I have relived it , and this wont be the last
>>> I just through my self into my work, and try and forget about it, because
>>> there's nothing I can do to stop it , I don't like the drugs, so I just
>>> work
>>> and be the best dad I can to Rhys,
>>> thank you from my heart and soul
>>> for thinking of me
>>> that's just the special people you are,
>>> all what your going threw and you think of others
>>> don't worry, my friends,
>>> I'm ok
>>> there's always another day,
>>> I just read what Rhys put on your blog
>>> I was a little upset at first, because you guys are going threw enough
>>> without worrying about me, anyway to put your mine to rest
>>> every now and then I get the shakes real bad
>>> haven't had them for a while, not since Rhys was about 6 years was the
>>> last
>>> its just part of what happened to me, when I was abused, I couldn't stop
>>> shaking after the attacks and it didn't stop until I was about 16 , and
>>> it
>>> has come and gone over the years
>>> I have been having a few dreams I don't call them nightmares anymore ,
>>> because he does scare me anymore.
>>> I get real emotional,( angry) when I hear about abused kids, and
>>> sometimes I
>>> don't follow my own advise, (as you do)
>>> you and Robert have really touched my heart , and sometimes when you
>>> hear
>>> other peoples stories, you tend to relive your own , its not the first
>>> time
>>> I have relived it , and this wont be the last
>>> I just through my self into my work, and try and forget about it, because
>>> there's nothing I can do to stop it , I don't like the drugs, so I just
>>> work
>>> and be the best dad I can to Rhys,
>>> thank you from my heart and soul
>>> for thinking of me
>>> that's just the special people you are,
>>> all what your going threw and you think of others
>>> don't worry, my friends,
>>> I'm ok
>>> there's always another day,
----- Original Message -----
> From: "rob ma"
> To: "Harry Griffin"
> Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 11:27 PM
> Subject: Re: luc
>
>> thnx u harry, we`re better persons for knowing u and rhys too,
>> i`m so happy to heard form u and for explain to me the why, that helps me
>> a lot,
>> hope the doctors find the right anti-depressant for me, think they will,
>> please harry, don`t get on rhys `cuz he share that w/me, i`m just
>> waiting on my parents to send u a video from us in order to be able to
>> do web cam w/u and rhys and he was just sharing, just piss me off were
>> not able to do web cam,
>> u know a world more than me `bout abuse and is a grate hope for me
>> that u made it through life, are able to work and to have a beautiful
>> kid, i see in u hope for me, thnxs,
>> hope u get better by the day and become to know more and more how to
>> manage ur emotional issues in order to improve ur life the way ur been
>> doing,
>> ur a warrior harry, YEAH,
>> a BIG hug and a BIG kiss for u and rhys,
>> we love the two of u,
>> rob
> From: "rob ma"
> To: "Harry Griffin"
> Sent: Friday, October 15, 2010 11:27 PM
> Subject: Re: luc
>
>> thnx u harry, we`re better persons for knowing u and rhys too,
>> i`m so happy to heard form u and for explain to me the why, that helps me
>> a lot,
>> hope the doctors find the right anti-depressant for me, think they will,
>> please harry, don`t get on rhys `cuz he share that w/me, i`m just
>> waiting on my parents to send u a video from us in order to be able to
>> do web cam w/u and rhys and he was just sharing, just piss me off were
>> not able to do web cam,
>> u know a world more than me `bout abuse and is a grate hope for me
>> that u made it through life, are able to work and to have a beautiful
>> kid, i see in u hope for me, thnxs,
>> hope u get better by the day and become to know more and more how to
>> manage ur emotional issues in order to improve ur life the way ur been
>> doing,
>> ur a warrior harry, YEAH,
>> a BIG hug and a BIG kiss for u and rhys,
>> we love the two of u,
>> rob
On 10/15/10, Harry Griffin wrote:
> rob
> thank you , thank you , thank you
> god, thanks I owe you 1
> you fill my heart with joy, I have tears roll down my cheeks again
> that's all I ever wanted to do for you , is for you to no that there's hope
> no one has the right to take somebody's happiness and leave them with
> despair
> it happened to the both of us
> where's there is hope there is life
> the 1 thing I have learnt over the years , is to listen , listen , listen
> kids are crying and no one is listening
> I have been blessed with the way my life has turned out
> I wouldn't never have imagined this , after the way it started
> I don't think I'm a "warrior" just a survivor I have forte many battles,
> some I win , most I lose
> if I can shine a little light on a dark life, that's a battle I win
> we heal when we help others,we will help each other, we will heal together ,
> I promise
> love you rob you have a very special place in my heart
> don't worry about the webcam stuff, your parents no what they are doing
> I don't need my eyes, to no that you are a beautiful person
>
> here for you always
>
> harry XO
> rob
> thank you , thank you , thank you
> god, thanks I owe you 1
> you fill my heart with joy, I have tears roll down my cheeks again
> that's all I ever wanted to do for you , is for you to no that there's hope
> no one has the right to take somebody's happiness and leave them with
> despair
> it happened to the both of us
> where's there is hope there is life
> the 1 thing I have learnt over the years , is to listen , listen , listen
> kids are crying and no one is listening
> I have been blessed with the way my life has turned out
> I wouldn't never have imagined this , after the way it started
> I don't think I'm a "warrior" just a survivor I have forte many battles,
> some I win , most I lose
> if I can shine a little light on a dark life, that's a battle I win
> we heal when we help others,we will help each other, we will heal together ,
> I promise
> love you rob you have a very special place in my heart
> don't worry about the webcam stuff, your parents no what they are doing
> I don't need my eyes, to no that you are a beautiful person
>
> here for you always
>
> harry XO
love u harry,
rob
rob
p.s same goes for you to Lucas, I don't need my eyes to no your a beautiful person
I add this bit later
luc said: I remember those emails. Yes brought tears and memories, but good ones. I`m trying to celebrate the warrior Ro was. That kids and parents learn how sad and bad is the process of been a victim of sexual abused kids, specially if the kid get countagous with any sickness the offender would have. And above all, the totally conviction about God`s reality in his life. That so strong faith in God, even in the worst and darkness moments. And the forgiveness towards the person who hurt him.
I`m sad about my grandpa, God knows how much I am and will miss him, but, my grandpa was 82 yrs old, Ro was just 14..................he was just 14yo.
My heart is yours. Take a piece of it if you need a hug kid.
I love you all.
luc
P.S. Please, I`m no body special. I`m just a kid. I`m just luc.
P.S. Please, I`m no body special. I`m just a kid. I`m just luc.
2 comments:
you are special to me, and to alot of other people im sure
and thats all i want, is you to be lucas
and he is a very special person
your real battle is to be the same person you were before all this happen
not and easy battle to win
Thanks Harry. I will be, I`m on my way to be. God on my side, family and friends like you, makes lots of things possible even they seem not. Love you Harry, give a big hug and kiss to Rhys for me.
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