I heard my dad calling my name out loud from his bedroom, it was a cry.
He just rush to me bedroom and hug and kiss me so intense that i know something good happen.
He told me to forgive him, that he loves me w/his soul, that i teach him something today, that he`s so grateful to God for have me as a son, that i`m the most awesome son in the world, that he never change my for no body and that yes, that he promise me to not to blame him self no more for what happen to me, that he`ll accepted like it is and not to worry no more about it.
Then, he turns to `cas, that was just w/his eyes all wet, looking like if he have anything to do w/this and told him "com`ere Lucas" and give him a hug and a kiss so tight that `cas just mumble "Mr.Robert, please", my dad told him "`cas, i know what you did and i`m so grateful to you, i`m proud my son have you as a friend, and honor too, you`re the most awesome kid i`ve ever meet, you`re part of our family, don`t think you don`t, we`re proud to have you as part of our family, God bless you Lucas, no wonder your the son of my best friend, your dad is so proud of you", and my mum came in crying bad, i saw my mum crying before but not as hard, is not common on her, she just kiss and hug `cas and told him "you will know how much i love you when you get kids on your own".
I ask `cas "what my dad means when he told u, i know what u did?", `cas just shrug "dunno", i told him "common `cas, did u forgot who u talking to?", he look at me and just told me "i did what a friend is suppose to do", "`stop `cas, please, tell me", he told me "you never told no body but me `bout how ur dad was bleming him self `bout what happens to u, so i decide to give u as a present for your birthday what u just experience, i told ur dad how u were feeling `bout that situation and told him that u want to blog this and i`ll let him know as soon happen that way he`ll know how deep ur feelings were `bout this, he told me ok, then i start today trying to convince u to blog ur feelings `bout it `cus i know is a big step in ur healing and u just did it, as soon ur done, i told u be right back and took the chance to let ur dad know to read the blog post u just did, and u know the rest, i just love u, what u want me to do?".
I was unable to answer `cuz i have no words for `cas.
This is one of the happiest days of my life, i feel like somebody took a big, big load out of my heart, i didn`t know how to say this to my dad and `cas just guide me like nothing.
`cas, is easy to love parents, is the way is suppose to be. Is easy for parents to love their kids, is the way is suppose to be, when is not like that, something is very wrong, but to love some body else the way u love me, is something that humble me to tears, i feel God is giving me something i don`t deserve for be so good.
Your my life `cas, your the one to hold my hands when i`m in dark places w/out knowing the way out, i start to taping around w/my hands and i always find urs and ur telling me "i`m here ro, this way", even in my unconsiouness i calm down when i heard ur voice, your my light at the end of every tunnel, you give me strength every single day to go on, i`m so sure i woudn`t make it this far w/out u, i`m down and i will be so many days to come `cuz i start to understand a lot of things and to accepted, but even in my deepness, at the button of my abyss, i feel afraid no more, scare me no more, `cuz i know that u will be there w/me no matter what, by my side. Did u know `cas that i love u and trust u so much that some nights at the hospital what i got as a teddy bear was ur black t-shirt? I hide it in my pillow `cuz i want no body to notice and think i was weird, it was just `cuz got ur smell and just hugging the t-shirt was a comfort for me and allow me to sleep better, i don`t mind no more, love is too beautiful to hide it.
I wish so much other human beings experiencing what i`m experience w/u rit now, is a new dimension i didn`t know exist, is the power of love.
I have no words for u `cas, don`t think there are none, ur sublime `cas.
Thnxs for be my friend, u r part of the inside i am as a human being, u fill my life w/love, joy, sweetness, tenderness, safety, strength, my God `cas, ur awesome!!!!!
In you i got another best gift ever, i got u `cas, having u i feel i got everything, my beautiful friend, i got everything, loving u `cas is like love it self, that`s what u r, love.
Oh God, thanks to e v e r y o n e o f y o u, for the emails, ecards, cards by mail, webcams, phone calls, the phone haven`t stop ringing today, so bad that my dad ask his secretary to come w/her family to our home to take care of, my cell the same, `cas cell the same, we (and i say we `cuz `cas have to be w/me in every place i go or talk `bout me, `cuz this is we, is not me no more) got a web cam w/the kids of my old school today, i talk to them and they`re just awesome, they got a cake w/my name and all that, thnxs kids, omg, kids from my sunday school, they were all there at our church and we did another web cam, was so kool, another web cam w/Germany, Spain and France from my grand parents churches, thnxs all of u, love u granpa and grandma, there are `bout 35 adults and `bout 40 kids around rit now, i just get too tire to be around and `cas just excuse our self and took me to my bedroom, i`ve been all around the property in `cas lap in the power chair getting some fun, but i get tired so quick that is a pain for me and i want to leave some strength for tomorrow `cuz is `cas birthday i was getting dizzy tho.
Thank you God for allow me another year and for all the blessings you give me that i don`t deserve.
A hug to every one.
A hug to every kid that have been abuse.
Love u all.
`cas you did it again.
Love u `cas.
No comments:
Post a Comment