STARTING (by Lucas)

I was mad at God and i didn`t know.
I got a lot of emotions and questions that were blinding me and didn`t allow me to think or see clear.
I was "demanding to God", wrong, we can not demand to God. We have to accept by faith that He knows what He is doing, with out questions.
The book of Job in the Bible is a good example of this. I invite you all to read it.
Difficult isn`t it? Yes it is. I say one thing, but my heart was doing another with out me knowing it. Is hard for me and confusing as a kid to understand a lot of things, but He is so Patient and Merciful with me.

Is the first day for ro to confront his new situation, that his mum is here no more. Im numb, i feel empty, sad, like seeing my self out of my own body, no heart inside me, no tears to expend, dry, i want the sun stop going out, i want no stars on the sky at night, no moon, i want the universe to grief with me. And the journey is just starting.
Ro doesn`t cry no more, he just emite sounds from his wounded hart and soul. He can barely produce sounds, he speak to me with his eyes and heart, i can feel his heart as mine and my pain and grief become double. I just hug him trying to mitigate his anguish and pain, i want to open his chest to caress his heart and soul, to kiss them, to tell them that im here, that i will hold your heart as mine, that you will never be alone, that i will be here for you to the end, that you are me and im you, that we are melt together, that never cross your mind i will leave you, that i love you with my life for ever, that i will been holding your hand, that i will carry you on my back. My sweet, beautiful, caring, honest, pure, everything good to apply to a human being, best friend ever, my bro, im hugging you now with the most caring, tender and loving hug any human being is able to hug, and telling you how so sorry i am for your lose, that is mine too, that im carrying you, that not to worry bout me, cus you ain`t heavy......your my brother.

Will be hard ro, but is we. Shoulder by shoulder. With the prayers and support of  our families and friends, a lot of people with good and so kind hearts, and over all our Mighty God, i can tell you Ro, chin up, chest out bro, you going to go through this, i promise ro, i promise you with my whole heart.

I love you as my self.

No words can express my heart to all of you. For your prayers and support. I read every single email, just not able to answer to all, please, don`t even think i don`t.
Don`t know how often the posts will be, but i`ll do my best to keep you all inform.

Kids, pray for us, we need it bad.
Hugs and kisses for you all.
We love you all.
Thanks from my heart.
luc