Pretty bad night and a worst morning.
Ro wake me up 3 times last night, i`m broke inside.
This morning he didn`t want to leave the bed and when i was in the shower i heard an strong noise, so strong that i just jump out of the shower wet and naked and fund ro naked in front of the mirror, hitting the mirror w/one of his tennis rackets so in rage that scares me, thnxs God the mirror is not glass made but another material, his laptop is garbage `cus he smashed w/the racket, i shout at him "RO", he turns quick and it wasn`t the ro i know, his face wasn`t his, there were blood coming out of his mouth `cus he was biting his own lips, from the racket was just the handle left, he rise the handle and i know he will hit me with, i saw it in his eyes, it wasn`t ro, i just grab his arms and told him in normal tone "ro, is me, is `cas", his face factions just change, soften and his eyes came alive again, i saw tears coming out and i know it was the ro i know again, he drop the handle and told me "sorry `cas" and just faint it, i grab him quick, place him on the bed and shout his parents through the intercom "help", they rush to the bedroom, the nurse as well, the nurse was down stairs fixing breakfast, i explain what happen then Mr.Robert grab a towel and placed around my wrist real quick and is when i realize i was naked, omg, my face was all red but rob`s mum just hug me and told me "you don`t worry that i didn`t see nothing", i just hug her back, she`s the sweetest mum.
They took care of ro, he came back and just start sobbing, piss me off so much when he start sobbing `cus can last all day in that mode, i better see him crying `cus is kinda quick and that`s it, but sobbing hurts me `cus kinda i feel real deep his suffering.
I talk w/the therapist and hi explain to me that it wasn`t against no body but him, he was hitting the figure in the mirror `cus he didn`t like what he`s seeing, that not to worry `cus he get over this, that`s actually good he get rid of this anger and he`s on his way to the house.
I`m w/him now in the bedroom, he just seat in bed when saw me and i just hug him, he start to apologize and i just put my hand on his mouth and scroll in bed w/him `till he pass out to sleep, thnxs God `cus that way he will feel a lot better when wakes up.
I`m just looking at him rit now and is not possible for me to get my eyes wet. He can`t have a rest sleep, i can see his eyes moving around, kinda tickles going through his body, mumbling things, tosing around, tha`s why i prefer to stay w/him in bed `cus even he kind of move and things, but he rest quite. He`s so fragile, vulnerable, skinny, this kid just break my heart. But he`s strong at the same time, inside. I really don`t know how he made it every day, but he does.
I wish i can blog happy things, but this is not the case.
I hope i will blog happy things.
I want the kids to know `bout the whole process, sad, ugly and happy things. I want this things to hit you deep w/the purpose to wake u up and be careful and the same for the parents, and other kids out there that has been abuse to know that they`re not along.
Please, be careful, is so sad to see a friend going through what ro is going.
I don`t want any of you going through the same ever. Ro as well.
A hug from my heart to every kid out there that has been abuse, we love u all.
luc
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