Pretty happy. Where can you find a big brother like mine? Sorry I`m bragging, there are lots of good kids out there too, but he is so special. I will never cross his boundaries. I will always respect him, because I love him, but is so conforting to be sure that you will be loved and acepted, no matter what. I thanks God for that. He is so loving care and tender, pretty tuff when he thinks he have to be, but with love. He makes me feel safe. He is my soul mate. We have a long talk last night and he just ask me to share with him all I got inside, not to be afraid, and I did. Felt so good. I know I can tell him whatever I feel and we will work it out.
I don`t think I`m in love with him, but I`m not sure though.
One so cool thing was the trip to Spain. His friends are so cool. Those kids have no taboos about lots of things. They express love so free. He was always checking on me, and just smile. He knows I was feeling so good. He knows me so much. The first 2 or 3 days, I aproach him and he all ready knows. He told me before I open my mouth "I know Andy. See why I want to come back? This is how my friends are and I want you to experience this. Feel free buddy. Enjoy love. Love heals.". He is right. And not just the girls, because is normal girls express love openly, but the boys too. They`re not go looking at you weird or something. They just hug you or kiss you when they feel like it.
I think that I`m just confuse with all the strong feelings I got towards him. I`m only child as he is. I never have had a brother or sister. He is tender and I`m hungry for love. I really have to think about all this and put my feelings in place. What I think right now, is that I have to learn this new kind of brother love and wait, because is beautiful and strong, and I`m young. Is like, I can`t believe a love like this can exist without meaning that I`m not in love. But this american ways, with all this paranoia about gays and all the crap attached, makes harder for us to find the right and clear answers to our sexuality. This society makes us suppress our feelings and be our selves. Doesn`t allow us, doesn`t give us the most minimal room, for us to find our selves, if is not in the parameters, they think everything have to be. Strangle us! Get off me!
And whaever I find out though, ACCEPT ME! LOVE ME! I`M A KID! A HUMAN BEING! GRRR!
I feel loooots better now! I`ll be fine. How not with this beautiful, loving care, tender, comprehensive, supportive big brother God have give to me? YES!
I feel free with him to be my self. To find out without the fear of being rejected or bullied, who I am. He guides me and listen to me. Above all, he loves me no matter what. And kids? This feel so good inside. I love you luc.
I pray to God, that allows every kid in this world to find someone like him.
Be safe. Don`t allow no body to abuse you. Tell some body.
Enjoy your summer vacation.
Parents, be on your kids.
A hug to every kid.
Love you all.
Andy
7 comments:
Thank you buddy!
How not to love you? Remember?;)
We`re fine, don`t you worry bout nothing.
Love you too.
Hi Andy
Your post here makes a lot of sense, and gives total guidence to those of a weaker position in their own lives. It's all about what you think and not what others may like to think that counts, and you seem to be in charge how your life and needs have a long way to go still. I think we will all agree that you have a very special friendship, and you have our full support to back you up.
Hugs
vic
omg Vic. Thank you!
Andy you are so right my friend. Society has really messed things up for the children and sadly they grow up to continue the same bad ways. But lets not forget that there are even worse places then in American. Moving to the US made me happy cuz it was a step up from where i grew up.
But in the end i am happy that you found luc, he's an amazing person, well so are you. you guys deserve each other. Just continue to grow with you relationship.
Much Love,
Steve
STEVE! OMG!
You doesn`t kmow how much I love you silly, don`t you?
Thanks so much Steve!
Oh Andy, How I love your writing! And you, of course! Your experiences of love are so deep and strong. I'm really thinking more about going to Spain after summer. But let's see how the next few months goes here in England first.
Thanks so much, Pete
Uncle Pete!! Thanks so much!
You know I love you.
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